''When Love goes Sour''

Keeping myself (celibacy) was a good deal and it seems i may fall back on that wagon, She thought to herself.

Just trying to leave life like its peaceful and kind to me wasn't an easy task, but i some how managed to get by the daily challenges i would face.

I felt empty sometimes and other times i would write, sing or drink. These were my personal battles i didn't have to tell anyone how i felt or how i managed. My worse fear in life had always been having emotional hiccups or break-ups, not for the fear of being alone but for knowing that i would have to give myself to yet another Man sometime down the line. I dreaded break-ups and so this gave my Men a reason to think i was insecure, unknown to them that if i could have it my way i would never consider marriage.

Bleeding Heart

My heart became an empty tank which needed to be filled, i had been a super religious Woman in the past and backslided when i met Timi years ago.

Don't get it twisted, Timi wasn't to blame for my falling off Spirituality. Gradually i found my self giving the love i never expected i would dare to give a Man.

He made me feel good, i couldn't help how my body responded to his presence.

Just one Friday morning, Timi called me on phone to tell me he had wanted to tell me something but didn't know the best way or time to tell me.

''IT, you are a sweet, kind and selfless Woman i must confess, but i just got married to my long time girl friend yesterday''. Timi concluded. I didn't see any need to listen to what more he had to say, just when my phone fell off my hand.

I was crushed, sad and angry with every Man i saw. Laughter became very expensive, colours faded, food lost it taste and life almost seemed meaningless.

But the good thing about breakups with me is that i suddenly get the urge to achieve more and more in life except smiles on my face and at that peak i go to any length to achieve.

What a fool i became. I thought i learnt some lessons there, only to find myself in the cubicle afresh.

Fear and uncertainty has become a life style in a relationship of barely 4(four months).

Who can relate?